Friday, June 7, 2013

Why You May Be Attracting Mr. Wrong


In all of my twenties I don't think I've gone a full month without one of my friends obsessing over a failed relationship or a no string attached "relationship" that ended up in her being emotionally attached and heart broken while the male easily and quickly moves on to another conquest. Is there really a shortage of good guys or are some of us sabotaging ourselves and attracting the wrong type of guys?  Let's dive into some of the reasons why you've been attracting Mr. Wrong.



MOVING TOO FAST

One of the top reasons why you might be attracting Mr. Wrong is because you might be moving too fast.  Take your time ladies. I can't count the amount of times I've seen people rush into relationships and have it blow up in their faces as quickly as it began. Taking some extra time to really know someone isn't a bad thing. In today's fast paced instant gratification obsessed society we often see people meeting each other and 5 mins after they're in love, or having "no strings attached sex" or rushing from one relationship right into another. YOLO may be a fun song to sing but when it comes to matters of the heart and building something strong with potential to go the distance it pays to take your time. I'm not saying move at a snail's pace, I'm simply saying to take the time to really get to know that person. Go ahead, have in depth conversations and spend time together. During that time of discovery you'll figure out if this is someone you may be able to build a long time relationship with or if this is only Mr. Right now.    


CONSTANTLY LIVING IN THE PAST


I know that it's human nature for you to occasionally think of your ex's but if you are constantly comparing every single person you meet to your ex and you keep going back to the same exact kind of guy that may be a huge indicator that your stuck and in serious need of a change. Stop comparing and  stop living in the past. Sometimes it's hard to do trust me I get it.  After all you invested so much time and love to someone and it didn't work out. Maybe you're still heart broken and in love or perhaps you're just scared to fall in love and be hurt again. It's completely understandable to base decisions on past experiences but never ever judge someone for someone else's sins. Learn your lessons from the old relationship and move on it a clear head and an open heart.  




YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FABULOUS YOU ARE


Self confidence is also something that a lot of women suffer with. This isn't something that just effects little teenage girls; nope there are lots of adult women who still have very little self esteem. I'm not judging and I'm certainly not better than anyone else. I can speak on this from the heart because it's something that I've privately suffered with for most of my twenties. Please know that you're smart enough, funny enough, interesting enough, sexy enough. You are enough. You're amazing and you deserve nothing but the best. You deserve to be respected and adored and loved. Never start or stay in a relationship because your scared to be alone or because you feel like you don't deserve better. Have those open conversations with yourself and be brave enough to move on if you're unhappy or being disrespected. 


SETTLING

A lot of women who feel as if they aren't good enough to have a Mr. Right settle for Mr. Wrong. Don't do that girls, seek out Mr. Right instead of settling for someone that isn't good enough for you – or that makes you feel like you aren't yourself. Better yet take some time off to work on yourself and explore opportunities for self growth. Be your biggest cheer leader and shoot for the stars. Life's too short to settle for mediocrity.



NO CLEAR PLAN OF ATTRACTION

Do you know who your type is? What traits do you want in a man? This can be a huge reason why you continue to attract Mr. Wrong. Be clear in the type of partner that you want. I'm not talking about physical attributes and I'm definitely not saying to write a ridiculously long list of must have's. I'm talking about character and personality traits. It's great to find the tall, dark, and handsome type but tall, dark, and handsome isn't enough. Don't be swayed only by looks because they fade. Look for a guy who's an ambitious go- getter who will treat you with respect instead of a good looking jerk. 




  
THERE ARE STILL GOOD ONES OUT THERE

Are you under the belief that all of the good ones are taken? Do you think that there are no good men out there at all? That's a sign that you just haven't found Mr. Right yet. Duh. But it may be a symptom of man overload. Some of us date and get into relationships like it's the end of the world. Feel free to be single or take a break from dating for a bit. Even an athlete training for the Olympics requires a bit of rest when training. Take a break from frequenting the bars and log off the internet dating sites. A big part of attracting a great man is all about your self confidence and your attitude, You wouldn't be able to be confident or have a good attitude if you're mentally and emotionally burned out. Take a break then have another go at it when your in the right frame of mind.



DON'T FALL FOR THE SMOOTH LINES 

Now there's nothing wrong with an articulate man who showers his woman with sweet words but there's something wrong with a man who without the slightest hesitation supplies you with smooth lines of reassurances and promise of life long devotion when he's only known you for a short period of time. Let's not play stupid ladies you know the type of guy I'm referring to. Sadly a majority of us know when we're being fed the BS lines but still convince ourselves that he means it.  If you know deep down that that guy is insincere then keep it moving. Stop making up convenient excuses or soothing reassurance to convince yourself  of reasons to stay.  Remember that actions should be your main focus when it comes to choosing if someone is good or bad for you. Funny thing is that most Mr. Wrong's know's how to say all the right things.


At the end of the day remember that we attract what we project. Become the type of person you'd like to find and chances are you'll find them. Also keep in mind that no one including yourself is perfect. It's completely unrealistic to call someone Mr. Wrong simply because he isn't 100% perfect at everything.


Good Luck =)