Friday, May 31, 2013

Heart Break Hotel - Most Common Break Up Excuses

Today's topic of discussion is breakups. More specifically we're exploring to most common break up excuses used by both men and women. According to my dating experience and to the experience's of my friends the, "It's not you, it's me." line is the king of lines used. Let's jump straight into the list of the top break up excuses used.  


"I'M JUST NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW, BUT IF I WERE... YOU'D BE THE ONE."


aka:"I'm definitely not ready to spend the rest of my life sleeping with one person, but if I were, it might be you. Sorta, not really too sure though."


"I STILL REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU."

aka: "... Just not enough to date you or spend much time with you. But I still care."



 "I'D LOVE TO STILL BE FRIENDS AND HANG OUT AFTER ALL THIS."

aka: "Hey, you never know. Maybe we be friends with benefits or maybe down the road we can start off where we left off. Either way I'm gonna have to let you go. Bye Bye now."


"I JUST REALLY NEED TO FOCUS ON (FILL IN THE BLANK... SCHOOL, JOB, GOD, WHATEVER) RIGHT NOW."


aka: "I don't think you'll take this break-up well, but you can't argue with this one." 

Now I'll admit I've used this and it wasn't because I was scared that the person wouldn't take it well. I said it because I mean't it. Sometimes we really do need time to deal with issues or focus on accomplishing goals, or sometimes you really do need that alone time to work on personal growth. Now it's true sometimes people use this line as a quick way to cut ties because they're tired of the relationship and they're tired of you. Either way my advice would be to accept it and try your best to move on. If that person really just needed to work on growth etc and you guys are meant to be together then you will.


"I'M MOVING TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY, BUT I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I GET BACK."
aka: "I've got to get away from you, fast!"

I've never heard of this one before but I can't help but laugh at this one. Talk about a quick getaway.


"YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME."

aka: "And I know I can do so much better than you."

If you've ever heard this one before it may sting or leave you feeling a bit confused but my best advice is to take solace in those words and make it a reality. Take some time get closure and work on becoming a better you.  Those positive changes and a positive outlook will help to attract someone who is indeed better. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.



"IT HAS BEEN SO GREAT GETTING TO KNOW YOU, BUT I THINK WE NEED TO SPEND TIME WITH OTHER PEOPLE."


aka: "I've already met someone I'd rather spend more time with." or " It's been really great sleeping with you but now I'm tired of it."



"I'VE GOT A FEAR OF COMMITMENT."

aka: "I've got a fear of being tied to you at all."


"I'M FEELING SMOTHERED, AND I JUST NEED TO GET SOME SPACE."


aka: "You're in my face too much - Please leave me alone."



"THE GUY WHO MARRIES YOU IS SOOO LUCKY."

aka: "I just hope I'm not that lucky!"


"I THINK WE NEED TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE AND JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS."

aka: "I'm already sleeping with someone else, and I'm just telling you this before you find out."


"I STILL WANT TO BE WITH YOU, BUT I JUST WANT TO TAKE A BREAK."

aka: "I want to try sleeping around, but keep you close in case I can't find anyone else."



"I'VE GOT A LOT OF ISSUES I NEED TO WORK ON RIGHT NOW."


aka: "My main issue is that I'm just not that into you."




"I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE MORE OF A FRIEND THAN A GIRL/ BOY FRIEND TO ME."

aka: "You're just not as cute as you were when we started dating."


Ahh yes, the dreaded friend zone. Quite frustrating for some of us. While it's true that some of the best relationships are formed in friendship sometimes those feelings remain firmly in the friendship zone. Don't pout or cry because that's just the way it is sometimes. Be happy that you 



"I JUST NEED SOMETHING MORE."

aka: "I'm not sure what more is, but I'm kind of bored, and this line sounds really convincing."



"I'M STILL NOT OVER MY EX."

aka: Ouch. This one's probably true.


Awww man. This one cuts like a knife. Imagine giving all of your time and love to someone then being dropped kicked in the stomach with this whopper. Sometimes It comes out of no where but often we see signs of that lingering love. If they keep talking about that ex or still keeps pictures of that ex or goes behind your back to spend time or communicate with that ex those are all signs that they may not be over  their former significant other. Listen to your intuition. If you feel that there's something going on more often than not you're right.     


"I WISH WE'D MET FIVE YEARS FROM NOW INSTEAD."

aka: "I'm really not that mature right now, but I probably will be in five years, and then I could've made a great boyfriend/husband."


This one rings true for me. In my early 20's I feel hard and fast for a certain "gentleman." All I really wanted from him was his commitment and for him to feel for me what I felt for him. I was no where close to thinking about getting married or having kids; I just wanted him to be there with me. If I even uttered the words commitment or boyfriend/girlfriend he would freeze up like a deer caught in headlights or run away from me like I was a plague. After a day or two sometimes even weeks he'd return and say I do love you but yada yada yada. I never understood why he would do that until years after it suddenly dawned on me that he just wasn't ready and that's completely okay. It had nothing to do with me. And sometimes ladies and gentleman someone that you've set your eyes on just isn't ready. Instead of trying to force it, or make them feel guilty or pressured just accept it and move on. It's like baking a cake. You wouldn't take it out of the oven before its done and expect it to be ready. It just doesn't work that way.    


"WE'RE JUST IN TOTALLY DIFFERENT PLACES IN OUR LIVES."

aka: "I'm in this place called I Want to Go Out Drinking, Partying, and Sleeping Around, and you're in this place called Let's Settle Down, and those two places don't fit well together."


Where that person just wants to enjoy a life of non commitment and promiscuity or their actually being sincere really doesn't matter. Never ever try to keep someone in your life who doesn't want to be there.  I actually think that this can be a blessing when one or both people in a relationship realizes that you both just aren't in sync. One of the worst things we can do is to stay in a relationship that's a doomed dead end. You know what I'm talking about. A relationship that you know in your heart isn't working because the two of you just aren't even in the same book.    


"I JUST RESPECT YOU SO MUCH."

aka: "Please don't tell your friends I'm a jerk, because I might want to date some of them."


This is often such a BS excuse. lol But sometimes someone just doesn't feel like the relationship is working and they'd rather respect you by being honest about how they feel. It may hurt but at least their being honest instead of leading you on. Count your blessings and move on.
      

"I THINK WE GOT TOO CLOSE, TOO FAST."

aka: "When you put your toothbrush beside mine in the bathroom, that really freaked me out."

I hate to say this but sometimes this isn't just another excuse to give someone the brush off but on occasion this can be a totally valid reason. Some people are so afraid of being alone or are so consumed by attraction that they rush into a relationship. There's no need to rush. Get to know each other and try to respect your partners feelings. It's always better to take your time and create a strong lasting relationship than rushing into things too quickly and hitting a roadblock that could have been avoided. 



Whether the excuse given is sincere or bogus do yourself a favor and move on. Please don't be one of those people that would hunt the ex down and plead for closure or detailed explanations  If someone doesn't want to be with you let them go. Your beautiful and have a lot to offer. Sometimes those relationships go bad because that just wasn't the person you are meant to be with and that's fine. I'd rather be single than one of those people that continue to try and fight a battle they've already lost or one of those that are lied to and cheated but stays and cries every night or is completely clueless. there's nothing wrong with being single. In fact it can be just what you need to grow and/ or find yourself. So cry if you need to or sing a sad song while downing a pint of Haagen Dazs for the first few days or maybe even a week or two but then dust yourself off and get back out there. Go get your hair done, do some shopping, work on perfecting that body and most importantly surround yourself with all things positive and uplifting.    

Have you heard even better ones than these? Feel free to share them with me and we'll complete this list together! ;)